The most common problem women face in relationships is a lack of sexual desire. It’s one of the primary reasons relationships and marriages end. As a tantra teacher for over a decade, the main reason men came to see me was that they were not having sex with their wives and hadn't for a long time, sometimes even many years.
Most of them didn’t want to leave their wives, but they were secretly terribly unhappy in the relationship and ripe for infidelity. Some had already taken other lovers. Others were seeing escorts or sensual masseuses to get their needs met. Sometimes they spent a lot of money on these “hobbies” and even had deep ongoing relationships with the “providers” for years.
Often their wives didn’t want to know about their “hobbies” and were just happy they were not bothering them anymore for sex. This is a sad reality for many people and relationships.
One of the reasons I became a Sex and Relationship Coach and Therapist (MFT) is to help people with a lack of sexual desire reclaim their birthright of pleasure and enjoy their body, relationship, and life! And to have happier and more fulfilling relationships.
There are many reasons for a lack of sexual desire, including emotional issues in the relationship, a history of sexual abuse, being a new mom, menopause, and painful intercourse, to name just a few areas that I treat. A common problem is that biology has set us up to have great sex for the first few years, and then it shifts our hormones from mating to maintaining family. This means we feel in love for the first couple of years, and then those powerful love hormones wear off as we have successfully mated and perhaps even procreated a child. This is when people say they have fallen out of love!
They don’t realize that this is a natural part of mating and bonding, and they often blame it on having a child or start looking for another partner to start all over with to get the strong love cocktail of hormones they are missing. It’s an addictive cycle and totally natural and built in biologically.
To overcome it and keep the love alive, we need to understand what is happening and to master our sexual energy and our partner's sexual energy to keep the passion and romance burning strong. This is what I teach in my Sacred Seductress Course for women and my Sexual Mastery Course for Men. There are lots of hacks you need to know. For example, women need more non-sexual touch in long-term relationships, aka massage, to even feel their desire.
Blessed be, dear ones.
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